The Compromise

— Jessika Shannon

Why is it in every film I watch the woman ends up compromising her dreams, goals, hopes and lifestyle for a man? I’m not talking about little things like ‘okay, he wont take out the trash…’ I’m talking about those big old whammies that make up who we are and where we’ll end up in our life, how many children we want if any and our career choice. These compromises disturb the natural integrity of who we are.

They are simply the external manifestation of an internal motherboard. Its our very own programming… each individual unique in its own right and justification. If you are completely erratic and delusional upon observation, who cares? Its who you are. You. Not him. Not her.

In films like “Confessions of a Shopaholic” and “New in Town,” we see that the woman’s morals are looked down upon for being too career oriented, chasing her dreams and meeting her goals. They gave up that dream job as the columnist for the high fashion magazine and CEO of that major industrial corporation to refocus on the supposed ‘more important things in life.’ In other words, they gave up their dreams and ambition for the role of wife; a role that fits into someone else’s expectations and comfort ability factors. They worked so hard their entire lives to become something great and something that they’ve always dreamed of and it kept them going from one step to the next. They let others convince them that it was undesirable and unfavorable to be that strong individual, who is independent and career minded.

The idea of women giving up their dreams and careers for men has been conditioned in young females for decades through the media. It’s the society norm for many young girls and may continue for generations. It holds a power over us as humans longing to be the very social creatures we are. Classic Disney movies like “Cinderella” and “Sleeping Beauty” show young women that it’s okay to rely on a man and “he” is your identity. Leaving young girls to feel useless and telling them “someday your prince will come.” After all, Ariel’s dreams in “The Little Mermaid” were greatly oriented around a prince and not really the land above the sea. At least that’s what happened in the end right? She wanted to be something; she wanted to be free. Why was Ariel’s happy ending saying goodbye to her family and becoming a wife? That world of hers that she wanted to travel was exclusive to prince Erik’s mansion and private beach. What’s up with that? Ariel simply compromised herself for a man. But at least he was handsome right? He may trade her in for that hot little sports car someday.

We need to break this cycle that is controlling our young women and brainwashing them to follow this dysfunctional cultural trend. Let’s teach our children that women can play all roles in life and “happily ever after” has many outcomes, shapes and sizes.